On a prompt from the New York Times, I took the challenge of writing six words that described my mother. It wasn’t easy; she was a complex woman. The words I selected were: problem solver, determined and compassionate caregiver. These were all qualities of my mother and the ones that predominate in my memory now that she is no longer alive.
I could have just as accurately chosen other words to paint a picture of her: stubbornly opinionated and judgmental; sharp-tongued and intolerant especially of those she loved the most, or adults who did not care for their children; parsimonious; and an obsessive worrier.
She was also a gardener who never purchased a plant, fertilizer or insecticide; a self-taught botanist and ornithologist, who wanted to know about her friends… the birds and flowers; a humanist who learned to speak a few words of Portuguese when she was 90 years old so that she could converse with the Brazilian-born care givers in the nursing home; an unapologetic freethinker who l lived her life a reflection of her moral convictions; a confidant for many because she approached people with openness and love; a Canadian who considered herself a citizen of the world and a defender of the planet; a controlling woman who took charge of the health and welfare of her husband and daughter; a defender of children and people who were oppressed because of their race, ethnicity, gender, and physical or mental health problems; and a woman who felt intimidated by others who had more formal education than she.
My Turn 