Ghosts of Our Parents: The Traits We Inherit

Some mornings I stare into the mirror and see my mother’s gap-tooth smile grinning back at me. My wavy hair is my father’s gift to me, although he considered it a curse. When I was much younger I didn’t see these strong resemblances, or perhaps I didn’t want to recognize them. Although there were things I admired in each of my parents there were also traits I actively tried not to repeat. Whether it is genetics or childhood imprinting, I find myself slipping into characteristics that I had hoped not to replicate. At times I feel as if the ghosts of my parents are making words come out of my mouth or leading me into actions that were not my intention. It’s a bit scary and a bit comforting at the same time.

Day 12 (of 31 days of free writing)

Consumerism and Its Impact on Baby Boomers

It was my generation that was the first to adopt consumerism as a value. If we were privileged enough we baby boomers stared wide-eyed at television commercials and longed for the newest toy. Whether it was Play-Doh, or the Magic 8-ball, or Mr. Potato Head, Barbie or Ken, most of these must-have objects were made of plastic. Later we graduated to Frisbees, vinyl records, and Hula Hoops. By the time we were teenagers we were pretty sure that money could buy happiness. We craved cars, jewelry, the most fashionable garments. Some of us still consider shopping a form of therapy when we are feeling longly or sad or bored. Purchasing, we were told, was also good for the economy. It was downright patriotic. If you didn’t have the cash to pay, credit cards were easy to get, although some of us learned they were not quite so easy to pay off.

In feeding this obsession we overflowed landfills, created islands in the ocean out of plastic waste, shipped our trash to other countries. So I find myself wondering why I have all this junk and how can I dispose of it without doing further harm to the environment.

Day 11 (of 31 days of free writing)

Embracing the 31-Day Free Writing Challenge

On October first, a friend started doing the 31 days of free writing challenge on her blog. Without asking what it was all about, I jumped in. All I understood was that you are supposed to write 5 minutes each day, just write anything. I haven’t written much in the past few years, except for short messages on email, and I felt rusty, stiff like a squeaky hinge. I thought it might get me back in the practice of writing for the fun of it. I have never been good at following rules. The five minute time limit is just not working for me. No matter who said it (and it was not Mark Twain) it really does take longer to write something short.

Day 10 (of 31 days of free writing)

Breathe and Let Go

Worrying is a habit that I try hard to break. Breathe, I tell myself and anyone else who tells me they are worrying. I was trained at a young age by my mother who was a world class worrier. It was a survival tool to think about the what-ifs in order to avoid catastrophe. Children need to be taught not to crawl through the bars at the zoo to pet the leopard. As an adult who has learned to avoid most potential risks, I not only don’t need to spend my time and energy fretting about things that might could happen. I’m often asked about why I don’t worry more and it’s not that I don’t worry, its that I try to stop worry from turning into an obsession. It seems to me that most of the things I have worried about in the past never happened and if they did worrying didn’t stop them from happening. That logic, however, is not enough for me to call a halt to anxiety, so I breathe deep and seek more positive uses for my imagination.

Day 9 (of 31 days of free writing)

Celebrating Old Friendships

The old Girl Scout song we used to sing went,

Make new friends,
but keep the old.
One is silver,
the other is gold.

This month two old friends are celebrating their birthdays. It’s a big one that ends in a zero. We are older now than we ever expected to be. Years ago I drifted away from letter writing. Now I email greeting cards, or send a text message. For these old friends I want more. I want a conversation. I want to hear their voices again. We now live far apart and we haven’t seen each other in a very long time. Before I even dial the number I know part of the conversation will be about how our calendars are full of medical appointments and, how we can no longer do some of the things we used to do. It will also be about music, travel, ways we are caring for other friends or family and, the things that matter now that we are old.

Day 8 (of 31 days of free writing)