Tag: change

Lenten Sacrifice

Cluster of small green buds surrounded by pointed, serrated leaves on a stem, against a blurred natural background.
~ Linda Wright

Although it has not been a part of my religious practice in the past, this year I have things I want to give up during Lent. It will not be the cookies I have with my afternoon tea or the occasional meal I have that is not strictly plant based. But there are things that are both unhealthy and distracting that I am giving up during this season of sacrifice, in order to attain clarity. 

Lately my thoughts have been scattered. Like the tree branches blown over the ground with the recent wind and rain, I feel tossed betwixt and between. I spend more time  than I want reading and responding to email and social media. The books I want to read pile up and up. My relationships with friends and family go untended. 

This season is one of acknowledging death, and rebirth. As I am about to complete my 76th year of life I understand that time is precious. It is impossible to escape my mortality. I have fewer years of life before me than behind me. Dust will return to dust. My generation will be replaced by others.

Recently social media has capitalized on the human tendency to flutter from one thing to another. It keeps me scrolling way past the time I had planned to find some bit of information. Worse yet is that in order to hold my attention, much of what I stumble upon is designed to make me angry.

Years ago when I was leading workshops, I learned that distractions take precedence. It’s instinctual, probably a survival technique ingrained from our ancestors. If it is a single distraction, as when a comedian is interrupted by a heckler, the best advice is not to ignore it. 

That doesn’t work when the distractions come at an alarming number and frequency. Lately the distractions feel like the devil at work. Even though I don’t believe in Satan, I recognize that there are evil forces purposefully stirring things up, making me doubt my faith. I feel the need to return to a sacred practice.

Today the “news” seems to be less about what happened and more about what the consequences could be. I am feeling powerless, trying to figure out where to begin. It is hard to avoid the comparison with being lost in a wilderness and needing a time of solitude and reflection, in order to muster the spiritual energy to resist the evil forces.

During Lent, I am giving up the temptations of mindless busyness that have become addictive for me. Only then will I be able to pay attention to the things that mattered the most, rather than the myriad details that have been cluttering my thoughts. Perhaps it will reinvigorate me, giving me renewed energy to start where I am, use what I have, and do what I can.

Start where you are, use what you have, do what you can.
― Arthur Ashe

Topsyturvey-World

~ Linda Wright ~ 1 Comment

When a song gets in my head and I just can’t seem to stop hearing it, I wonder why. Today that song is Natalie Merchant’s “Topsyturvey-World” From the album Leave Your Sleep. This song speaks to my inner child, the child who was born with blood that would not clot. My world could be tipped upside down by a tumble onto the sidewalk. People didn’t understand what I could do safely and what I could not. Many tried to confine me, others pitied me, some avoided me, a few were frightened by me.

Isolated at home with an injury until it healed, I did the things I could do, things I enjoyed, things I was skilled at. I practiced problem solving while other children my age practiced raising a hand before speaking. I wasn’t afraid.

Of course I preferred being with other children, but when I could not, I learned to reach out to friends on the telephone, laughing, joking, even playing magic tricks. These moments of joy sustained me until I could rejoin the outer world. I wrote letters to aunts and uncles, pen pals and one boy who I didn’t know. He was a friend of a friend who had broken his back falling from a horse. He was in a hospital bed and might never walk again. He didn’t feel sorry for me and I didn’t feel sorry for him.

In many ways I feel prepared for the Covid-19 virus that is bearing down on my part of the world. I know more than many of my friends about ways to cope when I am afraid, or lonely, or uncertain.

The lessons I have learned in my lifetime have given me an advantage in this time of pandemic. I believe for most of us uncertainty is the norm. It means we are human and the one thing we can count on is change.

I have never met anyone who has not experienced a disaster or a loss that turned them upside down. That doesn’t stop us from experiencing joy. Joy, bursts up in unexpected moments. You don’t need to cling to it, just notice it.

Joy can unstick you from anxiety and propel you into action. Joy is your super power. It can lead you to do the next right thing, the most compassionate thing, and for now that is stay home.

“Inside the word “emergency” is “emerge”; from an emergency new things come forth. The old certainties are crumbling fast, but danger and possibility are sisters.”
― Rebecca Solnit, Hope in the Dark

A Lifetime of Change

~ Linda Wright

Looking back on my lifetime, I see vast differences from what I was like at age seven, seventeen, twenty-seven, and seventy. If you could see inside my clothes closet in 1959, 1979, 1999 and then 2019 you would notice that, not only did the styles differ, but the sizes as I gained then lost both height and weight. My concerns, my priorities, my self-confidence, my beliefs have modified as I have been influenced by other people. Literature, media, conversations have all transformed how I perceive the world and myself.

Sure there are some similarities between the me as a child and the me as a young adult and the me as an elder, but there are some notable differences and I expect there will be more to come before my life ends. Although some try to control the direction their life will take, change is both inevitable and unpredictable. So I do the best I can to stay flexible and adapt to change as it comes.

Day 14 (of 31 days of free writing)

The Evolving Nature of Truth

~ Linda Wright

When I was younger I believed that truth was solid, something that was absolute. What I learned as true in my history classes I find now was a one sided view of what really happened. What science proved to be true when I was younger has now been shown to be false. Just look what happened to Pluto! Once it was a planet, then it was not, and now it is labeled a dwarf planet with one of its five moons composed of organic macromolecules that may be ingredients for the emergence of life. It seems clear to me that more research will bring new truths to light. Recently I read that there is finally some attention being paid to the placebo effect. In fact some people do have the ability to heal their own bodies based on what they believe. Others of us, myself included, lack this talent. The lesson here is not to scoff at those who are lucky enough to have this power. The research isn’t there yet, but it appears that this ability may be genetic. It’s easy for me to understand why some people don’t always believe in the same things. The possibilities for what is true is limitless and the universe is expanding.

Day 6 (of 31 days of free writing)

Reflections on Genre Censorship

~ Linda Wright

I was a librarian for thirty years, so censorship is anathema to me. Sure books can be harmful, that’s because books can change minds, attitudes, even life choices. Overall I find that it is human nature to find change threatening. As much as I like to pretend that I love change, the truth is often that is just a story I tell myself.

I know the genres that I prefer to read and the authors I admire. Recently I made a conscious decision to try something new. I actually read a romance novel for the first time. I mean it was pure happy-ever-after love story that ticked every box for its genre. First the couple don’t like each other, then there is a kiss and pow! Next comes the break-up and its devastating to the characters and the reader. We all know they are perfect for each other, why don’t they? Onward to the make-up scene, which is spectacular and the happy-ever-after. Sigh. What a relief and who cares that it was totally unrealistic?

Maybe it didn’t change my mind one bit, but it was a welcome rest to my over-thinking brain.

Day 1 (of 31 days of free writing)